Toaster’s Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

Oct 21, 2012 by

Toaster’s Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations by Peggy Edmund was originally published in 1916 so this book is full of good, old fashioned “clean” jokes…

Here are a few to give you an idea:

A German farmer was in search of a horse. “I’ve got just the horse for you,” said the liveryman. “He’s five years old, sound as a dollar and goes ten miles without stopping.” The German threw his hands skyward. “Not for me,” he said, “not for me. I live eight miles from town, und mit dot horse I haf to valk back two miles.”

WILLIE–“Paw, what is the middle class?” PAW–“The middle class consists of people who are not poor enough to accept charity and not rich enough to donate anything.”

PROFESSOR–“Now, Mr. Jones, assuming you were called to attend a patient who had swallowed a coin, what would be your method of procedure?” YOUNG MEDICO–“I’d send for a preacher, sir. They’ll get money out of anyone.”

Archbishop Ryan was once accosted on the streets of Baltimore by a man who knew the archbishop’s face, but could not quite place it. “Now, where in hell have I seen you?” he asked perplexedly. “From where in hell do you come, sir?”

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